What should we say to people and families dealing with COVID-19? Terrys Plutos Faith & You – cleveland.com

CLEVELAND, Ohio When COVID-19 first hit, I didnt know anyone who had the virus.

Several months into the pandemic, I knew some. A few were very seriously ill, most were not. But in the last month, I know several people who have become ill from it or at least tested positive.

In the recent surge, if you dont know someone who has the virus ... just wait, you probably will.

Some people who have come down with the virus have been made to feel like a leper.

Thats what Bishop Joey Johnson of Akrons House of the Lord mentioned to me. We are talking about those who have tested positive feeling as if they did something wrong.

Yes, some were hitting the bars, not wearing masks and symbolically spitting in the face of the virus.

But most of the people we know have been careful when they go out, wearing masks and trying to stay safe.

When I called Father Bob Stec, the pastor of Brunswicks St. Ambrose Catholic Church, he said he had just finished talking to a person who had tested positive.

Some of us can wear a masks 1,000 hours a day, wash our hands all the time and almost never leave the house and still get it, said Stec. Its out there. We cant condemn these people.

FEELING GUILTY

Ive talked to some people who have tested positive. They had to call the people who were recently around them so they can be tested.

As one person told me, I feel like I messed up everyones life. We waited almost a week for results. They all came back negative.

This person was the type Stec described: Not doing stupid stuff. Wearing a mask. Caught the virus anyway. Some people have stronger immune systems.

We cant keep pointing fingers at people like they did something wrong when they get sick, said Johnson.

Those people have to quarantine for at least 14 days. In some cases, it becomes a serious situation with trips to the doctor. It can be very lonely and frightening.

SAYING DUMB THINGS

Karen (not her real name) said her daughter tested positive and some people said, Dont worry, shes young.

Karen added: I know those words were meant to comfort, but they didnt ease my fears...age doesnt matter and the severity of the symptoms were nothing like Ive ever seen.

Her daughter recovered, but it was an ordeal.

Mary (not her real name) said after her mother died of complications from COVID-19, some people told her, Well, your mother had underlying conditions.

That doesnt change the fact Marys mother died and she is grieving.

We need to think before we speak, said Stec.

Confession time: When I heard someone had died from the virus, I wondered if they had high blood pressure, or dealt with cancer or other pre-existing conditions. Its a natural tendency to mentally search for a unique reason the other person got sick and died so we think it wont happen to us.

But dont bring it up when talking to the person who suffered the loss.

We should ask ourselves, What would I need to hear in her position? " said Stec. When people are hurting, we forget about how our words can negatively impact them.

Many people living in the land of COVID-19 say they appreciate a simple, Were praying for you. We care about you.

Offer to go to the store and run errands while the person is home recovering. You can leave stuff on the doorstep. You can leave cards, send texts and emails of prayers.

As Stec said, Put yourselves in their position and figure out what they need.

THE FEAR FACTOR

Fear is everywhere right now, from politics to the virus.

Johnson and Stec both said its really hard to go through these times without God.

The battle isnt just medical, its also spiritual. Thats why depression, drug use and frustration levels have skyrocketed. The days seem to drag by as the COVID-19 numbers rise.

One of my favorite verses is 1 Peter 5:7-9: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

During these times, those with COVID-19 and their families feel all alone. They need to know you care about them, even if you cant see them in person for a while.

Dont be afraid to make a call or send an uplifting email or text. But dont play doctor or pandemic expert. Pray first, then connect.

As Stec stressed, Just think before you do it.

RECENT TERRY PLUTO FAITH & YOU COLUMNS

Memories of a typewriter and a big thank you to readers

A lesson in black & white from the old Red Barn

Driving myself crazy? Perfectionism during the pandemic

Another night with the frogs: Do I want to get well?

Is it worth destroying a close relationship over politics?

The Battle With Rejection

Pioneer Pastor Diana Swoope dies, inspiration to those with cancer.

Fighting the Inner Bully

The trap of wanting to be liked

Feeling stuck in the middle

What to say to someone who has cancer

Michigans Upper Peninsula: A land of massive rocks, bugs, bears and beauty

Shelter In Place is rough on those in Nursing Homes

Can you really forgive and forget when its so painful?

More:

What should we say to people and families dealing with COVID-19? Terrys Plutos Faith & You - cleveland.com