Coronavirus Briefing: Love in the Time of Covid – The New York Times

Updated

Jan. 23, 2022, 11:15 a.m. ET

We asked our readers how the pandemic has changed their relationships. Thanks to all of you who shared your stories.

I entered into my first romantic relationship in a decade during this time. We connected on a dating app, met for a beer and spent three hours on a freezing cold patio. The next date was a hike, and on the way back to the car, I said: Wanna hold hands? Ive got hand sanitizer. We had a very hot makeout session next to my Christmas tree with no kissing (the masks stayed on!) when he dropped me off that day. I informed my pod that night that the masks were coming off for date No. 3. We just celebrated a year together. Linda Anzalone, Portland, Ore.

When the pandemic started, my husband and I were distant ships passing in the night. We have two young children and have been together since we were 17. All of a sudden, we were with each other all the time on opposite ends of the couch. Then, in an effort to escape a little from reality, we decided to try edibles (legal in our state!). For a few hours, were able to be giggly and worry free. We have rediscovered our feelings and love for each other, hidden under years of sleepless nights, hurt feelings and stress. It has been absolutely transformative. Mia Newton, San Jose, Calif.

Im polyamorous and pansexual, so being in multiple relationships at once was a staple of my prepandemic life. With the lockdowns, shelter-in-place orders and wave upon wave of new variants, living a polyamorous life has become almost impossible. While monogamous/ monoamorous folx can just hunker down and pod with their one partner, I have to make difficult decisions about which partner(s) Im going to continue seeing in person and which relationships are going virtual. But I will say that polyamorous folx have an advantage when it comes to navigating around Covid safety protocols. My monogamous friends are all complaining about how awkward and hard it is to negotiate Covid boundaries before a first date, but the polyamorous community is so used to navigating boundaries around multiple partners, sexual health, kink, etc., that navigating around Covid boundaries is second nature. Eliana, Atlanta

In June 2020, my wife left for Greece with the kidsbecause our house was filled with tension. My 13-year-old son felt trapped at home and the streets were empty. Its hard to remember how it was. They were gone for 15 months. I resented their leaving. Things happened while they were away a kidney stone and a torn meniscus. I closed a business. I moved out of our apartment. I visited Greece twice, toward the end of the 15 months. Their life was full of family, food and the Greek version of the lockdown. When my wife returned, we both had changed. We dont have much in common anymore. Our differences age, culture, work have become what defines our relationship more than what we have in common. I still love her, and I think she still loves me, but it is very difficult, and I am not sure if we will make it. Anonymous, New York City

My first date was fully masked, so I didnt know what the person I was dating looked like. At night, in low light, we unmasked about 12 feet from each other. I squinted to try to see what he looked like far away and in low light. Tiffany, Philadelphia

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Coronavirus Briefing: Love in the Time of Covid - The New York Times