Schools are trying to get more students therapy. Not all parents are on board – KFOR Oklahoma City

Derry Oliver, right, holds daughter Dessie, 2, while her other daughter, also named Derry, swings during a visit to a playground near their home, Friday, Feb. 9, 2024, in New York. During the COVID-19 pandemic the younger Derry Oliver embraced therapy as she struggled with the isolation of remote learning, even as her mother pushed back. (AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews)

NEW YORK (AP) Derry Oliver was in fifth grade when she first talked to her mom about seeing a therapist.

She was living in Georgia with her uncle and grandparents while her mom was in New York scoping out jobs and apartments ahead of moving the family. It was a rough year apart. Oliver, now 17, was feeling depressed. A school staffer raised the idea of a therapist.

Olivers mom, also named Derry Oliver, questioned the schools assessment and didnt give consent for therapy. Youre so young, the mom recalled thinking. Theres nothing wrong with you. These are growing pains.

The issue boiled over again during the COVID-19 pandemic when the younger Oliver, struggling with the isolation of remote learning, reached out to her Brooklyn high school for help. School-based mental health professionals like social workers can provide some counseling without parent permission. But in New York, referring a student to more intensive therapy almost always requires a parents agreement. In Olivers case, that led to more conflict.

It was very emotional for both of us because I understood her frustrations and fears, the younger Oliver recalled. But at the same time its sometimes best for your child to be able to access this rather than hold it away from them.

As schools across the country respond to a youth mental health crisis accelerated by the pandemic, many are confronting the thorny legal, ethical, and practical challenges of getting parents on board with treatment. The issue has become politicized, with some states looking to streamline access as conservative politicians elsewhere propose further restrictions, accusing schools of trying to indoctrinate students and cut out parents.

Differing perspectives on mental health arent new for parents and kids, but more conflicts are emerging as young people get more comfortable talking openly about mental health and treatment becomes more readily available. Schools have invested pandemic relief money in hiring more mental health specialists as well as telehealth and online counseling to reach as many students as possible.

Its this disconnect, said Chelsea Trout, a social worker at a charter school in Brooklyn. The kids are all on TikTok or the internet and understand therapy speak and that this is something that could be helpful for their mental health and are interested in, but dont have the explicit buy-in from their parents.

Research suggests that having to obtain parental permission can be a significant barrier to teens accessing treatment.

Access to therapy can be critical, particularly for LGBTQ+ youth, who are significantly more likely than their peers to attempt suicide, and whose parents may not know about or approve of their sexual orientations or gender identities. Jessica Chock-Goldman, a social worker at Bard Early College High School in Manhattan, said shes seen many cases where mental health issues turn severe in part because teens didnt get earlier access to therapy.

A lot of kids would be hospitalized because of suicidal ideations or intent because the preventative work didnt come into fruition, she said.

The question of when young people can consent to mental health treatment is getting increasing attention from policymakers. States like California and Colorado have recently lowered the age of consent for treatment to 12. But in some states like North Carolina, the issue has been swept up into larger political debates about parents input on curriculum and the rights of transgender students.

Theres also a huge obstacle outside the law: Therapy is rarely free, and paying for it or submitting insurance claims often requires parental support.

Teens in New York can consent to therapy starting at age 16, and a provision allows doctors to authorize treatment for younger children if they deem it in their best interest. But there are caveats: The consent laws only apply in outpatient settings licensed by the state, and they dont extend to the prescription of medications.

New York City Mayor Eric Adams recently announced a partnership with the platform Talkspace to provide free online counseling to all city teens, through a program known as NYC Teenspace. It doesnt ask for insurance, but parental consent is required, except in the case of special circumstances, according to the programs website.

For Oliver and her mom, years of conversations have yielded some progress, but not as much access to therapy as the younger Oliver wants.

Several years ago, the Olivers agreed on a compromise. They found a Black female therapist, which was important to both of them as a Black family. The elder Oliver has felt the sting of being called aggressive for expressing normal emotions as a Black woman, and has had negative experiences with therapists and depression medication, which she said made her feel like a zombie.

The elder Oliver agreed her daughter could start therapy as long as she sat in on the sessions. But the therapist changed jobs after about a month, and Oliver hasnt seen another therapist since.

It has to be someone trustworthy, the elder Oliver said of a potential therapist for her daughter.

Trout, the school social worker at the Brooklyn charter school, said shes encountered a number of parents who, like Oliver, dont trust the schools recommendations, and wonder why their child would need therapy if theyre succeeding academically and socially.

If were thinking about predominantly Black and brown communities, if your interactions with social workers or mental health services or anything in that realm thus far have not been positive, she said, how could you trust them with your kids?

Statistics show a racial divide. In 2021, 14% of white children reported seeing a therapist at some point during that year, compared to 9% of Black children, 8% of Hispanic kids, and only 3% of Asian American children, according to a survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Without access to therapy, the younger Oliver has sought advice about managing her emotions through friends, school social workers, and the internet. But shes convinced she could do a lot more with consistent professional help.

Oliver has already gotten into a number of colleges to her moms enormous pride and is weighing her options for next year.

One thing shes considering: how much access they offer to therapists.

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This story has been corrected to reflect that Derry was living in Georgia with her uncle and grandparents, and not her brother.

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The Associated Press education coverage receives financial support from multiple private foundations. AP is solely responsible for all content. Find APs standards for working with philanthropies, a list of supporters and funded coverage areas at AP.org.

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Schools are trying to get more students therapy. Not all parents are on board - KFOR Oklahoma City